woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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