i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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