That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
