i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize