so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
