U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
