There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
