You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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