I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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