Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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