I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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