i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
