I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize