rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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