the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
