I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
