school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
