Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
