just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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