If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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