There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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