after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
