seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
