So drunk its hurt
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Welp...herpes.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
