I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize