so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
why is half of my head shaved?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
