Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I pour the whiskey from now on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
