i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
