I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
