how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
