His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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