Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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