Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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