I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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