I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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