he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
