yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
