it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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