Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
