is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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