I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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