The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You smell like stripper and shame
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
