That's intense
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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