K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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