i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
