yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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