I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
