People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
