We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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