Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
