How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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