we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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