Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We're too hungover to prance.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
