We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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