How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize