Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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