Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
