I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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