Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
