Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
