i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
