just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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