Kiss
Puke
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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