Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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