Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
