If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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